AS MY MIND UNFOLDED
Making a List

You know how I always say, "I always feel like I have a ton of shit to do, but I have no idea what it is."? Well, I understand now why I say that. I don't have a very good memory, I've noticed. Some things that just don't surface in my day-to-day consciousness just never get done. Somehow, though, those things aren't completely forgotten.

I was getting frustrated about all the time I felt like I was wasting. I know I have things I want to, and should be, doing. I couldn't understand it, though, because I never knew what those things I "should" be doing were. Until tonight.

I was sitting around, bumming on the computer, until I finally just got fed up. I had a lot of things lying around, and I just started cleaning up all of it. And then I decided to do something that kind of amazed me: I wrote down everything I need to do. And as I thought of more things, I wrote them all down on a piece of paper. Everything from "buy deodorant" to "do environmental volunteering." I watched as my mind unfolded on a piece of paper, as all the things that had been plaguing me, subconsciously, appeared in front of me. THESE were all the things I needed to do, that were weighing me down, without me even realizing it. This is why I felt like I wasn't going anywhere, because I DO have shit to DO, but I don't always consciously know what it is.

Now, I know writing down a To Do list is nothing new, exciting or special. I was just very pleased at how well and how useful of a technique it turned out to be. I feels kind of liberating to not have to worry about keeping all those things in my head. It was amazing to watch my mind unfold on paper.

Just thought I'd share my story with you. If you feel listless and anxious, try making a list!